By Charlotte Harris
Some say you should always read for pleasure (and they’re right), but there’s another, much shallower, reason to get reading – and that’s for status. Yes, of course it’s silly and elitist to base our judgments of others on their knowledge of Russian Literature or Greek Mythology, but this bad habit doesn’t seem to be leaving us anytime soon.
If you want to join the ranks of the well-read, without slogging through anything too long, boring or confusing, then here are ten speedy reads to hack your way into being a so-called ‘intellectual’.
The Plays
- Oedipus Rex, Sophocles
‘What has four legs in the morning, two at noon and three in the evening?’
When people talk about Greek tragedies, they’re normally talking about this one. In just over a hundred pages, it gives us horror, humour, violence, and – of course – tragedy. Whilst Freud might’ve had you thinking that Oedipus wanted things to end how they did, Sophocles makes clear that Oedipus definitely did not have that particular complex. This is a tale of unwanted destiny, and it’ll blow your socks off.
- Waiting for Godot, Samuel Beckett
‘Let us do something, while we have the chance!’
Samuel Beckett is one of those names that people love bringing up to sound clever, and once you’ve read this you too will have the exciting new power of calling things ‘Beckettian’. Waiting for Godot is a cornerstone of absurdism, and will have you slowly falling into the same insanity of Estragon and Vladimir, our bizarrely charming protagonists. The play is an unsettlingly comedic and confusing look into what could be a post-apocalyptic land, in which two men spend their unchanging and immeasurable days waiting for the shadowy figure of Godot to appear.
- The Zoo Story, Edward Albee
‘First, I’ll kill the dog with kindness, and if that doesn’t work – I’ll just kill him.’
Now that you’ve got absurdism down, it’s time to venture into existentialism, and Albee’s The Zoo Story covers the topic flawlessly in just thirty pages. Set on a sunny day in 1950s New York, Jerry tells Peter, a stranger on a park bench, that he’s been to the zoo. What unfolds next is absolutely insane, and will have you feeling desperate to light a cigarette in a French cafe and patronisingly explain the details of Albee’s existential genius to your nearest available victim.
The Poetry
- The Rime of The Ancient Mariner, Samuel Taylor Coleridge
‘For all averred, I had killed the bird,
That made the breeze to blow.’
This poem is referenced endlessly, and it’s surprisingly easy to read. Coleridge covers most of the romantic hallmarks in this poem, exploring themes of nature, religion, and fate through a classic tale of seafaring misfortune. For some bonus art history credits you could read it alongside Gustave Dore’s stunningly atmospheric engravings – I’m sure they’ll come up in a pub quiz at some point.
- The Orange and Other Poems, Wendy Cope
‘And that orange, it made me so happy,
As ordinary things often do’
Thanks to Tiktok, Wendy Cope has recently been crowned the internet’s favourite poet, and for once, the internet has made a good choice. Cope’s poems are unpretentious and no nonsense, yet their plain language gives way to stunning eloquence. Endlessly quotable, these poems are the perfect read for anyone in want of good poetry without need of excessive analysis.
The Novels and Short Stories
- The Kreutzer Sonata, Leo Tolstoy
‘It is amazing how complete is the delusion that beauty is goodness.’
This 118 page novella is the perfect shortcut to being able to say you’ve read Tolstoy cover to cover, without ever disclosing just how close together those covers are. Censored by Russian authorities shortly after its publication, this is a punchy tale of jealousy, gender-roles, and regret.
- Animal Farm, George Orwell
‘All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others.’
If you didn’t read this in school, then it might be time to take a look at this iconic novella. Orwell examines political power structures by writing about farm animals, giving the perfect setting to this tale of authoritarianism, corruption and exploitation. Top tip: you might want to do a little reading around Russian history before going into this book blind.
- Sonny’s Blues, James Baldwin
‘All I know about music is that not many people ever really hear it.’
Baldwin is the master of breathtaking prose, and perhaps the greatest literary voice of the twentieth century. All of his books are worth your time, but Sonny’s Blues is perhaps the best value for minutes and money available in the whole bookshop. This short story tells of two brothers living in 1950s Harlem, and deals with themes of racial oppression, addiction, family, and music. Baldwin’s writing is of such a beauty that it seems almost crude to attempt an analysis or summary of this work, it simply has to be read.
Well-Read Overnight : The Eight Books That You Can Read in One Sitting and Impress People With at Dinner Parties Forever More
By Charlotte Harris
Some say you should always read for pleasure (and they’re right), but there’s another, much shallower, reason to get reading – and that’s for status. Yes, of course it’s silly and elitist to base our judgments of others on their knowledge of Russian Literature or Greek Mythology, but this bad habit doesn’t seem to be leaving us anytime soon.
If you want to join the ranks of the well-read, without slogging through anything too long, boring or confusing, then here are ten speedy reads to hack your way into being a so-called ‘intellectual’.
The Plays
‘What has four legs in the morning, two at noon and three in the evening?’
When people talk about Greek tragedies, they’re normally talking about this one. In just over a hundred pages, it gives us horror, humour, violence, and – of course – tragedy. Whilst Freud might’ve had you thinking that Oedipus wanted things to end how they did, Sophocles makes clear that Oedipus definitely did not have that particular complex. This is a tale of unwanted destiny, and it’ll blow your socks off.
‘Let us do something, while we have the chance!’
Samuel Beckett is one of those names that people love bringing up to sound clever, and once you’ve read this you too will have the exciting new power of calling things ‘Beckettian’. Waiting for Godot is a cornerstone of absurdism, and will have you slowly falling into the same insanity of Estragon and Vladimir, our bizarrely charming protagonists. The play is an unsettlingly comedic and confusing look into what could be a post-apocalyptic land, in which two men spend their unchanging and immeasurable days waiting for the shadowy figure of Godot to appear.
‘First, I’ll kill the dog with kindness, and if that doesn’t work – I’ll just kill him.’
Now that you’ve got absurdism down, it’s time to venture into existentialism, and Albee’s The Zoo Story covers the topic flawlessly in just thirty pages. Set on a sunny day in 1950s New York, Jerry tells Peter, a stranger on a park bench, that he’s been to the zoo. What unfolds next is absolutely insane, and will have you feeling desperate to light a cigarette in a French cafe and patronisingly explain the details of Albee’s existential genius to your nearest available victim.
The Poetry
‘For all averred, I had killed the bird,
That made the breeze to blow.’
This poem is referenced endlessly, and it’s surprisingly easy to read. Coleridge covers most of the romantic hallmarks in this poem, exploring themes of nature, religion, and fate through a classic tale of seafaring misfortune. For some bonus art history credits you could read it alongside Gustave Dore’s stunningly atmospheric engravings – I’m sure they’ll come up in a pub quiz at some point.
‘And that orange, it made me so happy,
As ordinary things often do’
Thanks to Tiktok, Wendy Cope has recently been crowned the internet’s favourite poet, and for once, the internet has made a good choice. Cope’s poems are unpretentious and no nonsense, yet their plain language gives way to stunning eloquence. Endlessly quotable, these poems are the perfect read for anyone in want of good poetry without need of excessive analysis.
The Novels and Short Stories
‘It is amazing how complete is the delusion that beauty is goodness.’
This 118 page novella is the perfect shortcut to being able to say you’ve read Tolstoy cover to cover, without ever disclosing just how close together those covers are. Censored by Russian authorities shortly after its publication, this is a punchy tale of jealousy, gender-roles, and regret.
‘All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others.’
If you didn’t read this in school, then it might be time to take a look at this iconic novella. Orwell examines political power structures by writing about farm animals, giving the perfect setting to this tale of authoritarianism, corruption and exploitation. Top tip: you might want to do a little reading around Russian history before going into this book blind.
‘All I know about music is that not many people ever really hear it.’
Baldwin is the master of breathtaking prose, and perhaps the greatest literary voice of the twentieth century. All of his books are worth your time, but Sonny’s Blues is perhaps the best value for minutes and money available in the whole bookshop. This short story tells of two brothers living in 1950s Harlem, and deals with themes of racial oppression, addiction, family, and music. Baldwin’s writing is of such a beauty that it seems almost crude to attempt an analysis or summary of this work, it simply has to be read.